Baby Steps

Self-awareness sucks. Tonight, I gave myself permission to create instead of clean in the "crap room"/craft room/studio. The desk is a mess. I'm embarrassed to post pictures, but maybe it will inspire me to stop doing this to myself...

There is a clean spot on the counter. I could work there. But at the thought of being able to do whatever I want... There's so much I've been wanting to try lately. I have so many supplies and so many ideas, but I panicked. I started cleaning off the desk and putting crap on the clean spot on the counter. I think somewhere in my head, I've convinced myself that as long as I have an excuse not to work, I can believe that "if only" then I could be an amazing artist. If I don't have an excuse not to do it, then there is the possibility that I will fail. Failing isn't so bad. "It is impossible to get better and look good at the same time." Baby steps. Stop making chaos. If I clean up my space, then when I have an idea or an inspiration or just the ability to let myself make "bad" art, I can play. Practice first, then discipline. Baby steps. Baby steps. Baby steps.